EQMM 1974-02 by Ellery Queen’s Mystery Magazine

Author:Ellery Queen’s Mystery Magazine [Magazine, Ellery Queen’s Mystery]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Published: 0101-01-01T00:00:00+00:00

Another Case of Identity

by R. R. Irvine[11]

A new Adventure in Televislonland by R. R. Irvine

Niles Brundage was the actor who played the role of Sherlock Holmes in the newest TV series, and he played it with a lilt. In fact, Niles Brundage became The Master Detective… an appetizer for Sherlockian aficionados and a hearty entree for mystery fans — not at all, as “Dr. Watson” remarks in the story, “an hors d’oeuvre at a smorgasbord for lunatics”…

❖

“Come, Watson, come! The game is afoot!” With those words Sherlock Holmes, wearing a flap-eared traveling cap, hurried past me.

“Tape is stopped!” shouted the stage manager.

We stood poised, waiting for the director’s verdict. Finally his disembodied voice boomed over the talk-back. “That’s a take, gentlemen. We’ll break for the next scene.”

Sherlock Holmes disappeared into his dressing room.

Still feeling like Dr. John Watson, I stepped to one side as our bullet-pocked wall, made famous in the stories by Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, dollied past, followed by the equally renowned wooden mantelpiece. A moment later the coal shuttle which held Holmes’s cigars swung by in the hands of an ancient prop-man. 221B Baker Street had disappeared, replaced by a London exterior complete with billowing, dry-ice fog.

The high-pitched, garbled flutter, of rewinding audio tape preceded the sound of a hansom cab. To the accompaniment of clopping horses Sherlock Holmes — Niles Brundage, actually — exited flamboyantly from his dressing room.

“Ah, Watson,” he said, clapping me on the back. “This is turning out to be quite an adventure, isn’t it?”

Ever since Dark Shadows had taken over the late-afternoon ratings with its vampires and ghouls, Channel Three had tried game shows, old movies, and even cartoons in a futile attempt to compete. Finally, our show, The Newest Adventures of Sherlock Holmes, had brought a modicum of success. But even after eleven weeks of sleuthing, Barnabas Collins, the undying vampire hero of Shadows, seemed forever beyond the reach of Conan Doyle’s immortal detective.

“Brundage, we’re not taping,” I said, “so you can drop the Holmes-Watson bit.”

He looked at me as if I were utterly mad.

“My dear fellow,” he said with a derogatory sniff. Then, with a sudden squint, he seemed to forget my admonition. “Watson, keep an eye on Inspector Lestrade. He’s been filching my tobacco again.”

Here we go, I thought. They’d been at it ever since the show began, squabbling over tobacco from our authentic-Iooking prop humidor. The rivalry had become so intense, in fact, that each morning they raced onto the stage to see who could fill his tobacco pouch first. On this particular morning, Brundage had won. Lestrade — actor Jay Wallace — had for some reason arrived on the set quite late.

“Yesterday I caught him taking two pouchfuls,” Brundage complained. “Imagine, a Scotland Yard man acting like that. The man’s a menace!”

The director gave us a “stand-by” signal.

Side by side we waited on the cardboard curb.

“Tape is rolling,” said the stage manager, his voice already weary.

We stepped into a mock-up of a hansom cab.

“Charing Cross, my good man,” Brundage-Holmes said to a nonexistent driver.

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